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fabian has a bad feeling about this...

 


Fabian Prewett
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[info]fabian prewett for [info]causamortismods [
September 8th, 2020 @ 5:16pm
]

"Hey, don't get me wrong, alright?
I like to rock and roll all night
and part of every day."

"Party every day. Rock and roll
all night and party every day."

"I like to rock and roll part of
every day. I usually have errands.
I can rock and roll from like 1 to 3."
Read more... )
 

2 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

Warded to Gideon, Molly, Emmeline, Dorcas, Jamie, Sirius, Benjy, Edgar [
September 13th, 2019 @ 8:02pm
]

Affixed into journal, Warded to Gideon, Molly, Emmeline, Dorcas, Jamie, Sirius, Benjy, Edgar; Last Will & Testament )
 

33 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

81 bottles of beer on the wall... 81 bottles of beer [
October 31st, 2009 @ 8:54pm
]
HAPPY HALLOW'S EVE

87 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

82 bottles of beer on the wall... 82 bottles of beer [
October 23rd, 2009 @ 12:50pm
]
Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but when I first read Whoseberry's fascinating insight into the muggleborn dilemma I know my first thought was to go out and string up the first muggleborn I stumbled drunkenly across. After all, helping the terrorists out is on most of our agendas, isn't it(?), seeing as how they have expressed their noble goal of saving our society by kidnapping those evil and oppressive mummies, daddies, and etc.

Luckily, the most recent editorial in the Daily Prophet has made me stop and think more carefully about my actions. These terrorists are targeting the most vulnerable among us and I probably shouldn't let my mass hysteria drive me to do the same misdeeds.

It reminds me of when those German muggles decided to start killing sick babies back in the 1940s... and who doesn't love babies? I'm sure they were considering whether the sick babies were part of a plot to undermine their Ministry, though, so maybe I shouldn't judge.

182 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

83 bottles of beer on the wall... 83 bottles of beer [
October 17th, 2009 @ 6:55pm
]
I think at some point last night I died

83 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

84 bottles of beer on the wall... 84 bottles of beer [
October 11th, 2009 @ 8:18pm
]
Order of the Phoenix

I think we all need to have a little chat. Or a big chat. Or something.

There's been an Order of the Phoenix for about a month and already there's a major divide forming that needs to be prevented. Old vs young, mature vs immature, or whatever it is that's splitting us up. Since I'm not in the former group, all I can do is speak to the older members of the order and hopefully get some feedback on what the hell we need to do, because this isn't a one sided problem. Excuse me for the long rambling, I am nearly a solicitor now and brevity's been beaten out of me.

There seems to be some severe miscommunication going on between what your expectations of us are, and what our expectations of you are. We need to communicate regarding discipline, and where Order of the Phoenix's rules end and where invasion into our personal lives begins. We need to communicate about the difference between guiding and patronising.

I can say that, for the most part, we get that we're younger, and not as experienced, and learning, and occasionally prone to opening our mouths before our brains kick in. What you don't seem to get is that we've been thrown head first into a clusterfuck of conspiracy theories and loaded up with the burden of saving the nation from the legions of evil. We agreed to do it. We want to help. We are trying to stay above the surface and keep from drowning in a sea of new information, responsibilities, and expectations. We aren't aurors, and yet it seems like we're being treated like an army of clones that is expected to shut up, follow orders, and train till we pass out.

That isn't who we are.

We're twenty whatever year olds, and we fuck up. We talk to much. We do all the things you did when you were in your twenties. We are trying to cope with the fact that we need to band together to fight the government when last month our biggest worries were how to get over a hangover in the morning and drag our asses to work (maybe that's just me, but the point stands). Being yelled at at every turn, and ridiculed, and told we're acting like children, and patronised, and criticised, is not conducive to our well-being. It isn't a matter of growing up, it is a matter of being treated like people who are trying to make a difference. It is about being treated as if we have something of value to offer.

I didn't sign up to watch my friends be verbally abused, whatever the moral justification is. We need to get our acts together and remember what the hell we're doing this for, and we need to figure out how to talk to each other without coming off like spoilt brats or condescending jerks. Seriously.

12 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

85 bottles of beer on the wall... 85 bottles of beer [
October 11th, 2009 @ 7:21pm
]
Warded to the Alphabet Gang

I think we should* send Augusta Longbottom a jarvey.



*NOTE. Should is used rhetorically here. Dorcas Meadowes if you send a grieving old lady a jarvey I will smack you. I will hit a woman, don't think I won't.

11 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

86 bottles of beer on the wall... 86 bottles of beer [
October 10th, 2009 @ 4:57pm
]
Warded to Aberforth

If you've got time this weekend, I'd rather practise with you.

3 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

87 bottles of beer on the wall... 87 bottles of beer [
October 9th, 2009 @ 8:26pm
]

Warded to Aberforth, Amelia, Benjy, Charity, Damocles, Dorcas, Emma, Florence, Gideon, James, Remus, Sirius

I have come to the conclusion that I am entirely too sober. Everyone should bring over a liquor of choice and help Vance and me teach the cat to dance.

64 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

88 bottles of beer on the wall... 88 bottles of beer [
October 7th, 2009 @ 3:17pm
]

I have an idea.

To expand on Bode's brilliant plan, let's give everyone with Socially Awkward Disease (SAD) an armband, so that we can identify them (but not discriminate!)

First armbands can go to Snape and Bode. Any other suggestions?

54 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

89 bottles of beer on the wall... 89 bottles of beer [
October 3rd, 2009 @ 1:57pm
]
Warded to Emmeline

Vance, where the hell are you? I understand drunken binges that last a few days but this is getting ridiculous.

17 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

90 bottles of beer on the wall... 90 bottles of beer [
September 25th, 2009 @ 8:17pm
]
Warded to the Order

So, Auror types -- is there a way to sign up for who touches our flats' wards?


Warded to the Alphabet Gang

When and where are we doing this telly thing? I want to invite Flo.

69 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

91 bottles of beer on the wall... 91 bottles of beer [
September 25th, 2009 @ 9:51am
]
 
Question: Mrs Lestrange, will DMLE agents be crawling over Sanguine Palace if this bill is passed? If so, I will follow in your brave footsteps.

69 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

92 bottles of beer on the wall... 92 bottles of beer [
September 24th, 2009 @ 7:56pm
]
 
You know you were all waiting for it )

79 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

93 bottles of beer on the wall... 93 bottles of beer [
September 22nd, 2009 @ 8:39pm
]
People who won't do their damned jobs properly should be fired, not given a pay raise.

4 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

94 bottles of beer on the wall... 94 bottles of beer [
September 13th, 2009 @ 4:07pm
]
Warded to Gideon, Emmeline, Dorcas, Sirius, Remus, James and the Gryffindor Mascot, Benjy

Went bookstore diving and found one whole bloody book* on "Lucent Arts". Anyone who wants to come over and take notes with me -- the floo's open.




Mod approved!

14 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

95 bottles of beer on the wall... 95 bottles of beer [
September 12th, 2009 @ 12:30pm
]
Warded to Gideon, Emmeline (and Dorcas, Sirius, and Benjy added in after this; Aberforth added after this)

Did either any of you get owls that you weren't supposed to mention to anyone else?

117 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

96 bottles of beer on the wall... 96 bottles of beer [
September 11th, 2009 @ 1:13am
]
let's count the number of times snape has been laid


ready go

44 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

97 bottles of beer on the wall... 97 bottles of beer [
September 10th, 2009 @ 10:18pm
]
Warded to Emmeline, Sirius, Gideon, Dorcas, and even that Benjy weirdo

Powow at my place starting ten minutes. Bring your own b I'll even provide the booze.

63 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

98 bottles of beer on the wall... 98 bottles of beer [
September 10th, 2009 @ 12:12pm
]
SEX TIPS FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES
1894 (but still useful)
  • THE wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly - and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

    Feigned illness, sleepiness and headaches are among her best friends in this matter.

  • MOST men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices, including performing The normal Act in abnormal positions, mouthing the female body and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn. true!

  • A SELFISH and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. can't see anyone taking advantage of Emma, but this orgy thing sounds interesting

  • JUST as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts.

  • MANY men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after The Act is over. Thus the wife must ensure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

  • A WISE wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.

  • MANY women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pyjamas for their husbands - they need not be removed during The sex Act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.

  • ONCE in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. after all, falling in the dark on our 'vile bodies' is a good way to turn us off

  • WHEN he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practised only in total darkness. oh my

  • DO not encourage him - nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted. too late for most of us

  • IF he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her any place else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet.

  • IF the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him.

  • SHE will be absolutely silent while he is huffing and puffing away - she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while The Act is in progress.

  • AS soon as the husband has completed The Act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow.

  • CLEVER wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband.

    Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

  • BY their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.

    By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home. 

182 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

99 bottles of beer on the wall... 99 bottles of beer [
September 9th, 2009 @ 8:52pm
]
Dear Gideon.

No amount of bribing, pleading, begging, or attempting to leave those children on my doorstep will convince me to help you babysit. You brought that on your own head. If you would like my suggestion, a few well placed silencios and a binding charm would be helpful. Also, the next time you see Molly, perhaps you should remind her that buying potions from reputable dealers may limit further problems. I'll pay for them myself if she promises to take them. Really.

A note to the general public: no matter how enticing Terrortours makes East Germany seem, don't be fooled. That place is a disaster and if I never have to go back there as long as I live it will be too soon. Sadly, it seems to be on my itinerary for next week. If anyone wants duty free fags, hit up some other poor bastard. I value my job.

And Emmeline, if your flatmates turn out to be as worthless as they sound, I've got a spare. You can't have it, but I thought you'd like to know.

151 commentscommentsmemoriesedit

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